The other day we were going through our boxes consolidating, re-arranging, and deciding whether to keep, garage sale, or discard various items. While doing this, I came across our wedding vows. Unlike many, Rebecca and I decided to write our vows ourselves. I cannot remember if we decided to write them together or not, but from looking at the final product, I don’t think we did them alone unless some sort of miracle happened that I was not aware.
My wife’s vow was:
Travis I take you to be my husband, and I promise before God, our family and friends to submit to you as to the Lord through the help of the Holy Spirit. I promise to draw you into my very being as we become one and to share with you life’s joys and sorrows. I promise to respect you and be respected by you, to forgive you and be forgiven by you, to instill hope in you and be given hope by you. I promise to accept the mystery of your uniqueness and to love and to honor you until the Lord takes us home.
My vow to my wife was:
Rebecca I take you to be my wife, and I promise before God, family and friends to love you as Christ loved the Church through the help of the Holy Spirit. I promise to bath you in prayer and the Word as I lead us according to the will of God. I promise to draw you into my very being as we become one and to share with life’s joys and sorrows. I promise to respect to respect you and be respected by you, to forgive you and be forgiven by you, to instill hope in you and be given hope by you. I promise to accept the mystery of your uniqueness and to love and to honor you until the Lord takes us home.
I have two basic comments about these vows. First, our vows were taken directly from our understanding of Ephesians 5 (and other passages) which is built upon “submit to one another out of love.” While the passages that follow do not command the husband to respect his wife, respecting her is part of loving her. While it also does not command the wife to love their husbands, it is a basic understanding of Christian relationships to love one another. Hopefully you can see how littered our vows are with the Word of God.
Second, how easily have I forgotten my vows to my wife!! We have been married six years and I regretfully have not looked at these vows since I spoke them on that great day. How tradegic! I have fallen short of the commands of Ephesians 5, and my vows to my wife. But it is a testimony to my wife’s loyalty and love that she is still beside me after these short and trying years (we did go through seminary during that time and I am also pursuing a doctrate degree, yet she still loves me).
How are you doing with your marital vows? Can you recall them? Maybe I should memorize my vows as I did then (even though we still had them read and repeated because of the importance of the day, so I wonder if I ever really memorized them). What do you think?
